For The Women, By A Woman

Female foeticide - will it stop?

kanquona — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 18:04:00 +0000

In India, female foeticide and infanticide is a big problem which is largely affecting male-female ratio. Pre-natal sex determination test is a simply no no in India, yet day by day parents are killing female foetus before birth or murdering after birth. In my opinion, unless we can eradicate the root cause of the problem, no laws or rules can make the life easier for women in India.

If we go deep inside the problem and read by peeping into the mind of a parent, you can easily guess why they try to kill their own blood. Some might argue that notion existing in India support favoritism for male child. But notion does not born in a day. In India, marriage is a must have option for women, specially who are not from well-to-do families. Offspring of poor parents if not married can fell victim to rape, molestation and in India you are socially out casted if a male even touches you. Marriage involves grandeur and dowry which a male will demand to maintain his life partner. I admit the concept is ridiculous, but for a parent who is not earning big, the very thought of this money becomes a nightmare. When a boy is born he looks forward to earn money when he will grow up and marry. But a female child for him means, losing money.

Dowry and female foeticide are deeply interrelated and stopping dowry will gradually evict this. Encouraging women education, empowerment and establishing them in society will change the notion. Unfortunately all women organization in India studies women empowerment on case to case basis and nobody looks for a long term movement. Women and only women can understand the pain, grief, insult and oppression of another women. Until and unless this happens freedom of women will always remain illusive.

Marriage Market In India

kanquona — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:19:27 +0000

It’s not a denying fact that women have conquered all the avenues of knowledge as well as of profession. She has applied her talent to all the streams to increase the frontiers of her views and understanding. Women have also tried her hand in each and every profession. She is walking equal steps with man in every sphere of life. The clamor of the feministic activists and feministic authors have helped them a lot in securing them this social status and theoretically let all the social creatures know that women are the backbone of the society. But still there is some gap and something is missing. Though the gender ratio in job sectors are significantly changing but the price of women in the marriage market has remained the same as it were. This is especially prevalent in middle-class families and the
lower middle-class society. All women both employed and unemployed are put to the test of beauty. Beauty is the first thing that all men ask for. Dark is still not fair for them. Though dusky women are redefining the parameters of beauty in the glamour world but actually nothing has changed strikingly. There are many such examples that will be enough to prove that they are also successful in their respective professions. . In India, the ruling party at the center is headed by a woman; a woman president is also likely to take
over the office. Naomi Campbell, now a super-model, won the Miss Universe crown and is a very successful woman in the world of glamour. Some dusky beauties of Bollywood are
Rekha,Hema Malini, Kajol , who are reigning the Indian film industry. So their dark skin color has failed to prohibit them to relish the nectar of success and fame.

But at the time of marriages, the parents as well as the groom are united in their desire for a fair and lovely bride. This is applicable especially in cases of arranged marriages though the issue is quite different in the matters of hearts and love affair.

If the would-be-bride is a working woman, the eligibility criterion is a little relaxing for them. But again, the working women have their won problems. Professionals like doctors, lawyers, policewoman, models, journalists, BPO employees, are look down for their erratic workloads and hours. Even women working in IT companies are not spared from this, due to their irregular working hours. Moreover, women working in night shift are not eligible bride as staying long hours outside the house after marriage is not desirable. If a girl is returning home at night, it becomes the talk of the town and the news is sold like hot cake.
Gossip and that about a nocturnal girl is more to cherish than others.

There are many such families who pre-set many conditions like, the girl would leave the job after the marriage or in some cases, she is compelled to leave her hard-earned job to
shoulder all the house-hold responsibilities. Jobs that make a man lucrative in the marriage market goes against the woman.

Men want their brides to accept their decision on whether to work or not after the marriage. Moreover, there is question of moving with husband in case of a transfer. There are also such families who search only working brides for their son to appease their hunger of money. In such cases the woman has to work both inside and outside the house. And moreover she has to face weird questions from groom’s family at the time of match making regarding her choice of career.It has been noticed that the preferences of jobs changes with community. While Marathis and Bengalis look for working woman who is also homely, Punjabis prefer pure housewives. Marathis also give importance to brides with government jobs and Marwaris prefer a woman who has a small business of her
own.

One profession is surely the most lucrative in marriage market. School teachers are more in demand and even more than college lecturers. Primarily for the reasons that school offers more paid holidays and vacations other than good salary, convenient working hours and schools are pretty large in numbers.

In such a moody marriage market it is really a curse to be the bride’s parents or the bride herself. Socio-economic conditions sometimes change the directions of the wind but
unfortunately any direction has so far proved to be against the bride’s wishes. The irony of the fact is that though the decision rests with the bride, it is mainly governed by her
father, a male.

Originally Published In Web Article Technologies Expert

Cheers for women!

kanquona — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:11:34 +0000

Since time immemorial women have been given a status of frail and feeble creatures. Everybody thinks that a woman’s life depends at the mercy of a man. Even God has not spared women from assigning this status to them. He has biologically made a women weak than a man. The strength of a woman is incomparable to a man. But today there has been a little change in the scenario. Her activities are at par with men. Though she cannot excel men in strength but she is learning the art of saving herself from the clutches of evils of the society. Three such incidents where the harassed girls themselves have taught the bad guys a good lesson. These incidents have set an exemplum for all the women race. Three different girls from West Bengal, India knocked the eve-teasers and molesters out by the art of taekwondo. So this proves that the girls are no more helpless or fragile. But have learned to save and rescue themselves and sometimes even others.

Indian women and jewelery

kanquona — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:44:05 +0000

Indian women are fond of jewelery and this trend dated back to 5000 years ago. Even in Indus Valley civilization, we get figurine wearing necklace. In India madness and rush for gold is ever increasing. One fifth of total global gold production which is near about 800 tonnes a year makes way to India in the form of jewelery. Of late platinum is also of demand but not like gold. One more interesting fact is diamond and other stones do no not sale much as compared to yellow metal. When the early trend was bangles, necklace, belly chains, bracelets and other heavy designs, the recent demand, mainly guided by working women, are sleek designs. One reason for increasing jewelery design can be attributed to the fact that jewelery better suits Indian outfits. Western fashion garments do not permit wearing too many ornaments but Indian clothing remains unfinished without necklaces, bangles, bracelets. The only negative point about such adverse fondness is the escalation of gold prices, but with plenty of money in hand, who cares.

Condition of Indian Women

kanquona — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 11:30:02 +0000

Once Jawaharlal Nehru said that ‘You can tell the condition of a nation by looking at the status of its women’. Here are a few links which will give you a fair idea.

1. Condition of women in india.

2. Good resources on Indian women.

3. Top 100 beautiful women

4. Women in India

Post-Marital Bliss or Blues

kanquona — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:46:14 +0000

The whole world is running after development, success and career. As on one hand, this speeding world is helping many of its inhabitants to lead an epicurean life, but on the other hand, the same world is becoming the root cause of all their problems in their life. Day-by-day we are sinking into the mire of depression and frustration. In recent years, the term catching phrase is the Post-nuptial depression or PND. But what is this Post-nuptial depression or PND. Let us try to illustrate this and find the reasons behind it.
PND can be defined as the mental disorder or the depression that either of the spouses goes through after a certain time of marriage. But doctors say regarding PND that in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication by the American Psychological Association, there is no such word in it. According to the psychologists and psychiatrists, it is only the adjustment problem that creeps in the relationship between the newly married couples. Adjustment problems among the couples are not new but now it is just given a name of PND.

Marriage for a girl is a sacred thing and she cherishes this wish in the heart of her heart for a long time. She always dreams of getting married to a handsome and caring person. She finds her D-day, the happiest moment in her life. Moreover, marriage per se is a very long and hectic process. From the time the marriage fixes to actually it takes place, both the bride as well as her family members go through anxiety. Everyone remains busy with the arrangements and preparations of the marriage. But the girl faces a different kind of anxiety. She remains happy for going to embark on a new life as well as worried to think about those unknown people she is going to live with. For that single day of her marriage she becomes the centre piece of attraction of all people and suddenly after the marriage she gradually loses this attention from everybody starting from her husbands to her in-laws. Then, in most of the families, the bride’s faults are given more attention rather than to her qualities. It seems as if the bride sans any virtue. This change in her life also creates a storm in her mind that destroys her from within. Thus from this point of time, she finds herself alone despite the people around her, and gets depressed and frustrated. Of course, there are variations also.
Similarly men are not spared from this onslaught of this mental trauma. The tremendous work pressure of men is taking toll on their marital bliss. Couples where both the partners are working, due to high job pressure, try to throw household responsibilities at each other. Men start suffering from many diseases like heart troubles, blood pressure, insomnia, angina, ulcers, over eating spells etc. But after battery of tests, the result confirms him to be suffering from depression and nothing else.
This emotional and psychological breakdown can be interpreted as PND. In urban areas the cases of PND is rapidly spreading like an epidemic. Now two career people are getting together through the sacred thread of marriage but both are bringing home their work tensions, which is finally leading to clash, depression, frustration, emotional breakdown and in some cases, even divorce. Both the working couples find themselves unable to strike a balance between their personal and professional lives. A crisis occurs immediately after the wedding bell stops ringing. This is the period when the couples confront an entirely new set of situations which they feel they cannot cope with. The number of cases of depression is on rise every year. A World Health Organization report predicts that by 2020, the depression will become the most prevalent global illness.
The stress of the modern world is the most significant reason for the hike in the cases of PND. Today’s hectic work culture consumes most of the time from an individual that the couples are left with no time to bond and understand each other’s feelings.
PND is seen mostly in the high-income group people. They have more work pressure and stress that gets into their marriage leading to depression, trauma and frustration. In some cases, they even go on the verge of breaking their holy and sacred tie.
Loneliness, like depression also causes PND. The Couples where the bride is a house-wife may find her in the lap of all kinds of luxury, but she misses the most sought-after company of her dear husband. To lead a luxurious life, the husband works very hard whereas he overlooks that on the other hand, he is pushing his wife into a dark well of depression and frustration. Besides there are the excess amount of household and child bearing stress for the wife. In such cases, sometimes the wife becomes withdrawn and uncommunicative and needs a psychological help to get out of this and to restore to the normal life.
PND has no gender bias. It can happen to both male and female. Medical reports suggest that 90% PND patients are from IT and other sunrise sectors where the is a high job pressure.
In these days all are bothered about their own career and thus especially in urban areas, people get married at a late age. Such couples have greater expectations and less adjustment ability. And this, along with the modern day stress, results in sure conflict between the couples. Now young professionals seek social and emotional support at the workplace rather than from their spouse. So this leaves no space for bonding and adjustment between the couples. Moreover, there are huge ego problems leading to clash over petty matters.
Girls who are economically depended over their husbands have own set of problems. Many married women cherish a sense of lagging behind in their sub-conscious mind and this comes out with the slightest spark. Perhaps they feel humiliated in front of working ladies. Despite of her education, her unemployment diminishes her status in today’s society. After their marriage, women want their own space and identity intact. But in some cases, this is hampered. Both her husband and her in-laws want the girl and her habits to change overnight. Moreover, all the duties, sacrifices, adjustments are asked from the newly wed bride. All these combine together lead to tension, clash, depression, frustration etc.
Such psychological problems are decreasing rapidly the tolerance level of the urban society. People make small issues into huge fight. It seems that they have almost forgotten the word “adjustment”.
So it has been noticed that, for many couples, a grand wedding is an invitation to huge problems, just after the wedding bell stops ringing.